Gutter Talk: Masters Nats 2011

Since ripping off The Onion is cool, we decided that our next recurring feature, Gutter Talk, will be the swim equivalent of their American Voices.  We are taking current issues and making sure that opinions from the deck are heard.  We are hoping that this will draw in as many of you to play along as the photo captions did.  Thanks for all the great responses!

MASTERS SWIMMING IS BECOMING INCREASINGLY POPULAR IN THE U.S. AND HAS REPORTED THAT OVER 1,800 SWIMMERS WILL BE ATTENDING USMS NATIONALS THIS WEEKEND.  

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

5 Songs To Survive Swimming Burnout

Every single morning when I wake up, there's some unfortunate song in my head, like Rebecca Black's "Friday" or "Stu's Song" from The Hangover (though I like that one). Whatever song is in my head affects my mood, my thinking, my emotional response to people. That's why on my iTunes I have everything possible to compliment whatever Life Situations are present: JayMay (when feeling emo, walking in NYC in autumn); Presidents of the United States of America (when feeling Naked and Famous); Soundtrack to Rudy (walking to the gym, college football season, showering). 

Swim Photo Captions: Passed Out in the Pool

Your Swim Brief crew is trying to come up with some recurring features that will hopefully draw in some interaction with our readers. That is why we are here after all-- to build a community of friends who love to talk swimming.  Every week or so, we email a swim related picture amongst ourselves to come up with some funny captions. Then, we challenge you to come up with some that are better.

Please help us put a caption here.  This guy is just asking for it.

Cool Water: Grinnell College

Welcome to a randomly appearing feature here on the Swim Brief. In Cool Water we'll take you to different pools around the world and tell you why they're cool. Want your pool featured on the Swim Brief? E-mail swimbrief_at_gmail.com

Splash of Rumor?

One of the things I've consistently noted since the Splash of Truth e-mails and subsequent website dropped itself into our lives is the resistance of anyone to talk about the contents. Through my blogs I've tried to filter some of the information and help people process what is out there. I am not a "traditional" media member, however, I have bias. I do disagree with many of USA Swimming's actions in relation to sexual abuse, and my commentary is colored by that. However, that doesn't mean that USA Swimming's accusers and their accusations are all cool with me. In fact, there are many parts of the Splash of Truth website that, left unresolved, cast serious doubt over their information.

Substitute Medalists?

This was the medal ceremony for the 2011 Men's NCAA Championship 100 Freestyle.  Feigen and Brown maybe, but that is definitely not Nathan Adrian in first place.

So, uh… apparently at the NCAA Championship, sometimes the athletes are just too tired or too busy to bother with collecting their medals during the ceremony.  They are essentially bringing in stunt men to do the easy part.

Really?  That really happens?  Substitute medalists?   I guess I get it.  I remember skipping ceremonies at age groups meets a couple of times because I needed to warm down.  Once even because I was on the toilet and there was no way I was gonna make it in time… but NCAA’s?  For real?

MSU- Mankato Got Screwed

It’s that time of year again:  the time when we all tune in to the college swimming message boards to see which coaches were fired, who is moving on to where, and which programs are being cut this year.  I have to admit, I sink into a little bit of a depression, partly from the let down of championship season being over, and partly from the thought of so many swimming careers coming to an unexpected end by the announcement that a team has been cut.  

When a swimmer has dedicated years to their swimming and to representing their school,

Fact or Fiction: World Beaters

As I covered in a Split Time with Garrett McCaffrey, now is the time of year that I get nervous for the US National Team. In the past, I've written a blog where I foolishly try to predict the who the breakout stars of the coming summer season will be. Today, I'll be taking a different wrinkle. I'm going to look at the swimmers who have shot up th World Rankings in recent months, look into my crystal ball, and tell you whether they are for real.

Robotic Visitor from Desolate Future Speaks to FINA Swim Bureau (Blast from the Past)

I originally posted this on my blogspot about a year and a half ago to make fun of FINA's handling of the tech suit mess and the group who was still pushing to get rid of jammers.  I am re-posting it here to celebrate April 21, 2011:  the day SkyNet was set to start it's aggression against mankind in the Terminator movies. It gained sentience on April 19th.  I hope you burned all your neoprene suits.  Enjoy.   

Today's meeting of the FINA Bureau was visited by Governor Schwarzenegger, who gave advice regarding swimsuit technology, drug use and dating.

January 16, 2010

The Screaming Viking!

The date of January 1, 2010 has passed, and with it, many feel, has ceased the controversy over the “performance enhancing” high-tech swimwear that had cast the world of competitive swimming into disarray for nearly two years. The battle between the purists, often considered luddites for their wish that the sport would return to the days when nothing more than limited length textiles and skin entered the water, versus those who embraced technology as a way to promote competitive swimming to a more mainstream status, was declared a knock-out win when the FINA Congress of Coaches voted nearly unanimously to banish all swimsuit advances after 2007 and to set limits on the specific parts of the body the textile fabrics may cover.

"Professional Swimming" in Our Awesome Economy

Anyone see the Newsweek article featuring Brian Goodell? Here's the lead-off paragraph:

Brian Goodell, of Mission Viejo, Calif., won two gold medals in the 1976 Olympics. An all-American, God-fearing golden boy, he segued into a comfortable career in commercial real estate. Until 2008, when he was laid off. As a 17-year-old swimmer, he set two world records. As a 52-year-old job hunter, he’s drowning.

Swimming Needs Its Own "Marathon" Term

Today I signed into "The Atlantic" -- part of my daily procrastination ritual designed to keep me from ever accomplishing anything that could be labeled as "real work." (Never go to the website "The Daily What." The blog is a time vortex and will suck you down into its deep, dark rabbit hole of videos and links. Unless you're like me and that's your thing.)

Come on, guys. We can do better.

While I was working on my education degree we were warned by professors to never be left alone with a student; never give them a ride home alone; always pull in someone to be a witness during a reprimand…  these were general ways to protect ourselves from false accusations.  We were told that one accusation can be enough to ruin a career. 

Deena Deardurff Schmidt's Heartbreaking Deposition

Throughout my blogs chronicling USA Swimming's handling of sexual abuse, I've read many troubling stories. There is perhaps none that have left me as sick to my stomach as I was after reading the recently posted deposition of Deena Deardurff Schmidt. While SOT (Splash of Truth) has given some attention to the aggressive tactics of the USA Swimming lawyer, I think there is a far more troubling narrative in this deposition.

Why Don't We Have Better Meet Results?

In the news, I'm constantly reading about how America is falling behind the rest of the world in infrastructure. South Korea has way faster internet, Japan has had faster trains for what seems like forever, and our airports seem completely overwhelmed. But I'm here to write about a far more important type of infrastructure: the way American swimming fans/nerds can track meets as they go and past results.